


a lie and a malady (the truth as the remedy)

by remy_the_lemon_berry



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Confessions, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders Senses Lies, Deceit | Janus Sanders-centric, Eventual Romance, First Kiss, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sad Logic | Logan Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Vomiting, Whump, just a little bit, like he can taste them, wait that’s a tag?, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28322133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remy_the_lemon_berry/pseuds/remy_the_lemon_berry
Summary: Janus can taste lies. Every side’s lies tasted different, and the more someone lied, the worse it tasted. Too bad Logan’s were getting more frequent.AKA Logan is angsty, Janus is also angsty but in a different way, and Virgil is the only one with a braincell
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 127





	a lie and a malady (the truth as the remedy)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BrainlessGenius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainlessGenius/gifts).



> Hey Kei! Merry Christmas, and happy Logangst secret santa! You are so fucking important to the server and to the goose chat. Nothing would be the same without you. I love ya hoe 💜
> 
> Warnings: vomiting. Yeah I think that’s it, but please let me know if I need to add something!

Janus could detect lies. Well, kind of. He could _taste_ them, and each side had a different taste, but he didn’t actually know what each side was actually lying about unless they told him. A rather unfortunate circumstance for him; he’d rather not confront the sides that surely hated him. But sometimes, a side had to do what he had to.

Each side’s lies tasted different. The more someone lied, the stronger and more unpleasant the taste. Remus always had the mildest taste of everyone due to his brutal and unfiltered honesty. His lies tasted vaguely fishy and salty similar to exotic sushi. The rare prevarications always cleansed his palette from the assault of other unpleasant tastes.

In the past, Patton’s moldy explosion used to dominate over everyone else’s, but ever since he stopped repressing most of his emotions, it toned down to the taste of stale bread. Still gross, but not nearly as terrible.

Virgil didn’t purposefully lie. His falsehoods typically resided in the anxiously-fearing-the-worst-out-of-every-situation-and-magnifying-everything category- still false, but usually harmless white lies. His palette stayed mostly clear of unpleasantness, though during panic attacks the taste of charcoal would overwhelm Deceit. His heart always ached whenever he tasted the lies. Always he would deny his... affection towards the anxious side, yet his midnight sobs begged to differ.

Janus often wondered if Virgil’s lack of lies was to avoid any connection to _him_.

He tried not to think about it too much.

Roman lied. Roman lied _so much_. And it was so blatantly obvious, too; Janus was shocked the others hadn’t approached him about it. No bother. With the latest episode, there was no use getting through to the prince. But even still, there was rarely a minute without the flame of a spicy pepper probing his taste buds. Though, one could develop a tolerance to the flame if one becomes used to it. Janus didn’t want to think about that implication.

If Roman’s lies were terrible, then Logan’s were hellfire. Every time the logical side lied, the combination of ground cinnamon and pepper coated his mouth and make him retch. The worst part was that Logan lied nearly as much as Roman with how much he repressed his emotions.

Oddly enough, Janus’s lies didn’t taste like anything. Or at least, nothing distinctive. His own lies merely contained the aftertaste of whatever side had lied last. Janus was rather glad for this fact- if he could taste his lies, they would almost certainly be the worst of all.

~~Virgil always used to help him when the lies got bad. Their relationship now was better than how it used to be, from after he _left_ , but it was nowhere near healed. ~~

But he lay in bed, half asleep, thoughts wandering to the sides and their falsehoods they seemed so keen on telling. Unfortunately, the peaceful moment ended almost as quickly as it began. As he slowly woke up, the overpowering tang of bitter pepper assaulted his taste buds. Janus sighed, grabbing a water bottle and chugging half of it, trying to wash the taste out of his mouth. He wished tasting this was an uncommon occurrence, but no, Logan _had_ to repress everything. Janus was tempted to storm into Logic’s room and slap some sense into him, just so he didn’t have to taste those vile lies.

Another wave of bitterness washed over him, and Janus barely managed to stumble out of bed and into the bathroom before he gagged and threw up into a nearby garbage can. God, this was worse than normal. Logan was lying more, and if someone didn’t help change that soon, then Janus might have to step in and fix it himself. Curse his traitorous heart for jumping at the thought.

The taste of cinnamon and pepper coated his mouth again, though not as intense as the previous times. Janus merely sighed and rinsed his mouth with mouthwash to cleanse his palette. _Heavens_ , the others lied a lot.

_Hypocrite_ , his mind supplied.

Janus stayed in the bathroom and got ready for the day, the bitter aftertaste combining with a new spice and a hint of charcoal. After he had smoothened his appearance to look at least somewhat functional, he took a deep breath and sunk out.

Time to act.

* * *

Janus could tell this was going to be a bad day when he appeared to an argument between Roman and Logan. Virgil was in the background sipping coffee. Patton was nowhere to be found. Huh.

“... don’t know _why_ you think that’s a good idea, Roman,” Logan snarled. “Thomas cannot _possibly_ learn an entire trapeze act in the span of a week.”

“He can do anything if he has enough passion!” Roman retorted, jabbing his fingers in Logic’s chest. “You wouldn’t know anything about that though, would you? You’ve said it yourself- you don’t feel anything, _Data_ base. You don’t really have much of a say in this.” A wave of spice.

Janus saw Logan fight to keep a neutral expression, the logical side fidgeting with his glasses. A familiar nervous habit. “I may not feel anything--” an explosion of pepper and cinnamon “--but I do know when an idea is outright peopsterous and completely dangerous. I will not have Thomas risk his livelihood and wellbeing for something so ridiculous.”

“Well then, _Logan,_ ” Roman spat the other’s name like a curse. “Why don’t you go read up on-”

“Alright you two,” Virgil interrupted, sparing Janus of the discomfort. “As entertaining as this is, it’s eight in the morning, and it’s way too early for this shit. Take it upstairs- I’m trying to brood.”

Logan and Roman glared at each other before sinking out, both muttering “I hate you” under their breaths. Janus fought back a gag as black pepper, cinnamon, and habanero pepper coated his mouth.

Virgil turned towards Janus as they disappeared. “Well? You gonna stay and pick a fight too? Or am I supposed to believe you’re gonna leave me the fuck alone?”

Janus raised an eyebrow, slapping on his signature smirk. “Ooh, charming as always, Virgil. _So_ eloquent. You know, it’s not like I actually want to talk to you or anything.” He inspected his gloved nails disinterestedly. “I’d certainly want to waste my time with that.”

Virgil swung his legs over the arm of the couch. “Look, I don’t like you--”

“Lie.”

“--and you don’t like me, so what the fuck are you here for? Gonna torment Thomas or something?”

Janus snickered. “We both know you do enough of that for the two of us.” His expression turned serious. “Logan’s lying too much.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, we been knew. He’s been repressing his shit ever since day one, dude. I think your scales are reaching your brain, lizardhead.”

“Oh, I’m absolutely sure my scales affect my intelligence. It’s not as if I can actually make connections and recognize that he’s repressing more than normal.” Janus suddenly gripped the table as a strong wave of vile lies overwhelmed him. He couldn’t hold back a round of hacking coughs. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Virgil sit up, the anxious trait’s eyes widening.

“Shit, you’re actually serious.” Anxiety stood and walked over to Janus, placing a hand on his back. “Breathe, Jan. I’m getting you water.”

Janus held back a gag, his hand blocking his mouth in an unsettling caricature of his own power. “Since when have you cared?”

He felt Virgil’s gaze on his back. “I’m not a complete asshole. I’m gonna help someone if they’re hurt.”

A deflection. Typical.

“And yet, you do nothing with Logan’s own falsehoods, hmm?” Janus snarked, carefully removing his hand and willing the bile back down his throat.

Virgil came back into sight, handing Deceit a glass of water. He chugged it, thankful for the coolness on his burning throat. “There’s only so much you can do to help someone who doesn’t want to change, Janus,” Virgil muttered, looking at the ground.

Janus looked at him. “Well, if you--” A sudden, overwhelming, _unbearable_ wave of burning pain, that horrendously dry mixture of black pepper and cinnamon flooded his senses, and Janus couldn’t help but throw up the little fluids he had sipped. His knees buckled and collapsed; tears mixed with the bile on the floor. His throat felt like a raging wildfire of dry agony. Distantly, he heard a glass shatter.

“ _Shit_ ,” someone muttered. A snap, and the sick disappeared. “Shit, hey. It’s just me, Janus. Breathe with me, okay? I know it hurts, but focus on my voice.” A hand drew Janus’s head to Virgil’s shoulder, a steady support the deceitful side had no idea he needed. Another hand rubbed his back in slow circles. “ _Breathe_.”

Janus inhaled a shuddering breath. The pain from the bitter lies and from the vomit lingered, and the pained tears never ceased. But it was better. Even if only marginally. An object pressed into Janus’s hand. “Here’s a dissolveable pill that numbs your throat,” Virgil murmured in Deceit’s ear. “It should help with the pain.” Janus popped it in his mouth, closing his eyes and focusing on the calming hand on his back.

“We need to talk to Logan,” Janus rasped. The pill certainly helped with the pain, numbing it into a dull ache rather than a sharp tang. “This will only get worse.”

“And he doesn’t trust you, so I’m coming with.”

Janus raised his head to look at Virgil. “I’m sure doing this just for my sake would definitely seem caring in Logan’s eyes.”

Virgil met his gaze. “Believe it or not, I actually have somewhat of a heart. This is for Logan, not just you. I swear, you have as big of an ego as Princey sometimes.”

Janus attempted to smirk, but it fell flat. “It’s the drama, sweetie. A man’s gotta be extravagant when bartering with the enemy.”

Virgil’s snicker made Janus momentarily forget about the burn in his throat as his heart leaped for the other side. “Well, tick tock, Virgil,” Deceit drawled. “We don’t have all day.” He stood, albeit shakily, and extended a hand towards the other.

Virgil took it and hauled himself up. He scowled at Janus. “If you fuck this up I swear to god I will never talk to you again.”

“Mmh, I’ll keep that in mind.” With a snap of his fingers, an illusion blanketed Janus, hiding his pain-filled eyes and his lopsided outfit. He looked at Virgil, his ~~lover family friend~~ ex-friend, and gestured outwards. “Shall we?”

“Stop being all formal and shit and let’s go!”

“Fair enough.”

They sank out

* * *

Virgil and Janus appeared right outside Logan’s door just as another wave of bitterness flashed through Janus’s mouth. This lie wasn’t as strong thankfully, but it was still incredibly unpleasant. Janus stifled his coughs in his gloved hand.

“You should knock. Logan knows your knock and will most likely open to you,” Janus supplied. Virgil nodded and softly knocked on the door.

Silence for a few long moments. Then, “I do not desire company at the moment. Please leave me alone.”

Deceit glanced at Virgil, tasting the cinnamon and black pepper. Virgil nodded and leaned forward. “I don’t think that’s good for you, L,” he said softly. “Can you open the door please?”

Janus heard shuffling inside. Then, a _click_ and the door opened, revealing Logan. He looked… well, a little worse-for-wear would be a kind word of describing his appearance. His rumpled clothes and tie loosely draped around his neck was akin to Janus putting on Virgil’s old jacket- the logical side was _not_ stable. His puffy, bloodshot eyes rested on Janus and almost seemed to resign and wilt. That was… troubling.

“May I ask what you’re doing here? Virgil? Deceit?” Logan glanced between the two sides.

Janus braced a hand on the door. “If we may, and you may absolutely tell us to leave, but we would like to come in and talk for a while.” Logan’s eyes scanned Janus and Virgil again. Twice. Three times. And he finally nodded and opened the door wide enough for them to slip through, the door closing behind them.

Logan’s room was a mess. Strewn about papers hid the floor while the billboards and space posters around the walls had giant tears through the middle as though someone tried ripping them in half. The bedsheets, normally folded neatly, half hung off the bed in a pathetic mockery of how neat they used to look. The once star-filled ceiling now looked like empty space; not a single planet or star could be seen.

Janus could see the poorly-masked worry in Virgil’s eyes. “Logan, you know we love you, right?” Logan flinched, a movement so subtle Janus wouldn’t have caught it if he hadn’t been paying attention.

“Of course, though love is an illogical emotion I have no need for,” Logan stated carefully, and Janus fought the almost overwhelming urge to vomit right then and there.

He stepped in before anyone else could speak. “If I may, Logan, you recognize that I am Deceit, correct?”

Logan frowned. “I- yes? Though I fail to see how that’s relevant.”

Janus plowed forward. “As Deceit, one of my primary functions is the ability to know and taste when someone is lying.”

Logan’s face went carefully blank.

“And you, Logic, are lying almost as much as I lie to others. It isn’t a good look on you, sweetie.” Janus folded his hands in his lap and gazed at Logan. The other side seemed to barely be able to hold himself together. Virgil’s concern was no longer hidden.

Anxiety spoke next. “Logan, you realize you’re allowed to feel things, right?” He leaned forward and took Logan’s hands in his own. “You aren’t the robot you say you are.”

Logan looked down at his and Virgil’s entwined hands. “Emotions are unnecessary for logic to function. I do not need them, therefore I do not feel them.” Janus resisted the urge to gag at the vile lie.

“‘Logic’ and ‘Logan’ are two separate identities,” Janus said softly, placing a hand on Logan’s back. “You are _Logan_ : the side, the person. You sing about Crofters. You always wear a unicorn onesie when reading Agatha Christie. Your eyes light up whenever you talk about space. Logic--” Janus paused to inhale, gently massaging Logan’s shoulder “--Logic doesn’t do those things.”

“Logan,” Virgil said, drawing the nerd’s eyes towards him. Janus never thought he’d ever see Logic cry, yet the silent hitches of the shoulders proved him wrong. “You are so much more than a function. Yes, that is a key component of who you are, but you are _so much more_. So tell me, Lo: how are you feeling?”

And Logan fell into Virgil’s arms, sobs tearing from his mouth. Virgil wrapped his arms around the logical side tightly, resting his chin on the other’s head. Janus took the opportunity to wrap his own arms around Logan’s waist, leaning against Logan’s back and sandwiching the crying side between him and Virgil. 

“Tell us, honey,” Janus murmured in Logan’s ear. “How are you feeling?”

Logan melted at the question. “I- tired, worthless, hopeless, alone. I--”

“It’s okay, L,” Virgil reassured. “Keep talking. What’s up?”

Logan’s voice was whisper-quiet as he buried his face in Virgil’s shoulder. “I believe I have romantic feelings for someone who could never love me back.”

The cinnamon and pepper burned only slightly. A half-lie, then. “You aren’t telling the whole truth,” Janus stated, shifting closer. “Repressing will only make this worse, dearest.”

Logan stiffened in the tangle of arms, slowly drawing himself out of the pile. Glancing away, he tugged at the loose tie before finally meeting Virgil’s and Janus’s gazes. “I… admittedly, I didn’t realize my… feelings were more than platonic until a couple days ago, and the situation only metaphorically hit me this morning. I…” Logan’s cheeks burned bright red as he closed his eyes. “I believe I possess romantic feelings for both of you. I- I know neither of you would feel the same, but--”

“Logan, look at me” Virgil interrupted calmly, and Janus’s heart _soared_ . He gently placed his hand underneath the other’s chin and lifted it so they were looking eye-to-eye. Virgil’s gaze was soft yet intense. “Logan, _I love you_ . I love you _so much_ , and your passion whenever you talk about something you love is just… _ugh_ , it’s amazing, okay?” A hint of pink appeared on Virgil’s cheeks. “I guess I’m trying to say that… I feel the same way.” Virgil leaned forward and pressed his lips to Logan’s forehead.

Janus tightened his arms, leaning back to kiss the back of Logic’s neck. “As do I, Logan,” he murmured. “I feel similarly. You’re intelligence and passions and debates are stunning, Lo.” Janus changed directions before he got too sappy. “Of course, I’m only doing this because you lie quite a bit, and your falsehoods don’t exactly taste very pleasant.”

Logan turned around, a coy grin setting Janus’s face ablaze. “Well, all scientific observations need multiple studies to verify a claim. How about I test for you?”

And Logan’s soft lips pressed against Janus’s, and his entire world exploded in warmth and an array of colors. It was short and chaste, but to Deceit it felt like a lifetime. And he knew he could die with those lips on him and be satiated.

A pair of hands gently pried the two apart and a new set of lips replaced Logan’s. These were slightly chapped and salty, but the contrast between the two made Janus melt. Virgil pulled back after a moment and studied the deceitful side. “I hope this is okay, Jan. I’ve been crushing pretty hard on you for a while.”

“I have no qualms about this, Stormcloud,” Janus purred, running his hands through Logan’s hair as Virgil leaned down to kiss the logical side firmly. “I’ll have you if you’ll have me.”

Virgil and Logan parted, gazing at Janus. The logical side interlaced their fingers. “And we will.”

And the lies that had burned in the back of his throat disappeared, and for once he felt content.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on Tumblr!
> 
> Main: remy-the-lemon-berry
> 
> Writing: remy-berry-writes


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